Desires

Simply put, nothing is tougher in life than fighting against your own desires.

Advertisements

How?

I still get sleepless nights thinking about how can I let myself be drawn into a wondering game again. It’s amazing how I let the thoughts of one person preoccupy my mind all through the day. It’s amazing how everything seems to just revolve around one person and nothing else seems to matter anymore.
I have always been the kind of person who learns from mistakes and ensures that they are never repeated again. And still I willingly let myself be pulled into the pit that I know I can’t come out of on my own.
As long as I look at it through my eyes, it seems like a beautiful dream that is slowly turning into reality. But the moment I look at it through a third person perspective, it’s nothing but glass shattered on the floor.
How did I let this happen?
How did I let my broken heart believe it could beat again?
Maybe that’s the beauty of being with that one person. The one whose mere presence melted those broken pieces and made it whole again.

Letter to self

When someone will actually fall in love with you, you won’t have to sit around waiting for days, or weeks, or months, wondering if they really like you. You won’t find yourself trying to figure out what could be holding them back. You won’t find yourself searching Google for signs to know if someone secretly has a crush on you. You won’t feel this anxiety you are feeling right now or have been feeling since weeks. You won’t be checking upon every social media website for signs that he is secretly falling for you. You won’t find yourself nagging or begging for just one sign to show that you actually ever cross his mind.

Just STOP.

You don’t have to do this to yourself. You don’t have to sit there waiting for the universe to move some magic wand and make your story the best love story ever. Because trust me it is never going to happen.  So just stop hoping secretly  that it will.

When someone will actually fall in love with you, you will see it in his eyes. He won’t be able to stop looking at you. His eyes will shine more than the brightest star in the galaxy. His eyes will betray him. They will keep looking for you in a crowded room. They will check the door every two minutes till you actually arrive,  after which they won’t look at you for a while.

When someone will fall in love with you, you will hear it in his voice. It will be the sweetest melody ever. His voice will fail him. It will be hesitant and nervous and shaky around you.

When someone will fall in love with you,  he’ll be scared of losing you. He won’t leave you wondering about anything. You will find yourself running into him at places you can’t even imagine. He will know when you are upset without you having to say it. He will be your best friend or atleast he will try to be. Most of all, he will put in visible effort, time and energy into dropping hints or making you realize that you are important to him. He won’t leave space for anybody else to come close to you or for you to think about anything except him. He will make you his special one, and until you find someone who does atleast 90% of that, DON’T SETTLE for anything else.

And most importantly,  don’t fool yourself into believing that someone loves you or you love someone until you find your own self doing 90% of that!