I don’t want to be called a dreamer again

I am sorry if I end up hurting you. But, you are not the only one who’s hurting. I am hurting too. And, probably more than you.
It took me ages to pull myself out of a living hell. I can’t deliberately walk into something again without the guarantee that my hand will be held tightly through the journey. I just can’t blindfold and walk along. It is not that I don’t trust you. Just that I don’t trust my destiny that seems to have showered a blessing like you upon me.

So, just pinch me and tell me it’s real. Tell me this is not a dream. Tell me it isn’t just a stupid story that I cooked up in my head. Tell me we are real. Don’t leave me wondering.  It eats me up inside. I can’t breathe. I can’t live. I am tired of being a dreamer. I don’t want to be called a dreamer again. I am waiting.  Just a pinch. Just a sign. One sign that you care. That’s all I need.

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So much to remember….

How do you forget someone who gave you so much to remember?

Both of them were counting the days left, but unlike others, they weren’t anxious about the approaching date. They were just silently preparing themselves for the approaching separation. They never told each other,  but they will both be dearly missed. How else do you part from somebody you don’t want to part from? You don’t even say goodbye! You just awkwardly leave, hoping you will not have to. You just leave, hoping you will be able to relive those moments someday again! Because you don’t want to forget. And you don’t want to be forgotten. And anyway, you can’t even if you try. You just can’t forget someone who gave you so much to remember!

Drives her crazy!

One moment, she is the happiest lady in the world. She looks at him closely and sees everything she ever wanted. Good mannered, humble, understanding, hard – working, fun – loving, passionate, responsible, good – humoured and nice to everyone. He looks back at her and they smile. She can lately see a spark in his eyes. The kind that just drives her crazy.

Next moment, she is the most insecure lady in the world. She looks at him and sees carefreeness. She sees lack of concern for her anxiousness, lack of fear of losing her. She sees lack of efforts to keep her close. She sees forthcoming distance. She sees them slowly drifting apart. He looks back at her and she acts like she wasn’t looking. She tries to keep her turmoil inside. But it’s boiling. It might erupt any moment. She can lately see him forgetting her. And that just drives her crazy!

Change. Leave.

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People change in the blink of an eye. They are somebody else and you perceive them to be somebody totally different. And it is nobody’s fault. We all have got tunnel vision and we see only what suits us better. And that is sometimes too far from reality.

When the reality clashes with our perception,  we feel deceived and shattered. Relations are affected and people drift apart. Nobody tries to save the bond. They change. They leave. And it’s okay. Because these days,  it is an acceptable part of life!

Step back

You cannot force somebody to love you  the way you want to be loved. Sometimes what you thought was magic turns out to be just a spark. Things are not really what they seem and they may never turn into what you anticipate. You cannot force your emotions on someone. You got to step back, because you had thought you were bridging distances, when you were  just really falling off a cliff. You need to save yourself,  because everyone else is too busy to notice you falling off.