The B-Word

They crossed my mind again today. I guess may be i still long for them in my life. That’s why they keep crossing my mind! B’coz they still live in my stupid li’l heart ❤
Okay yes, i have had some of the best moments of lifetime with them! YES I have been so wrecked up in my life that I became stupid enough to judge them! I HAVE BEEN CRAZY IN THE WAY I DEALT WITH THEM. I COULD HAVE ACTED MORE MATURE. But the fact lies that I didn't! And the fact lies that none of them cared!
IF I HAD CUT OUT CONTACT ON MY PART WITH THEM..DID THEY EVER TRY TO MAKE UP TO ME?? Never. Why would they? They had so many other friends in their lives. It was no big a loss to them. The damage was all mine. I lost friends of a lifetime. But what's the use of such friends who can't b there when they are needed?! Who dont even know the meaning of loyalty n trust in friendship?!

I SEEM TO HAVE LOST FAITH IN FRIENDSHIPS. EVERYONE OUT THERE IS SO ME-ME BULLSHIT. NOBODY CARES HOW ANYBODY ELSE THINKS OR FEELS OR ANYTHING! NO MATTER MY FRIENDS NOW ARE HERE FOR ME, BUT FOR HOW LONG …. NOBODY KNOWS. I STAND BY MY DECISION. FRIENDSHIPS ARE DOWN MY PRIORITY LIST. I WUD RATHER TRY MY BEST NOT TO MAKE FRIENDS EVER AFTER I LEAVE THIS PLACE. AND NOT EVEN KEEP TOUCH WITH ONES HERE. I DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE IN FRIENDSHIPS. I DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE IN ANYBODY IN FACT.
BUT STILL SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE, I'LL ALWAYS KEEP WISHING I COULD GET ATLEAST ONE TOTALLY DEDICATED N LOYAL FRIEND IN MY LIFETIME! THE ONE WHO'LL UNDERSTAND ME LIKE I UNDERSTAND PEOPLE. THE ONE WHO'LL TREAT ME LIKE A HUMAN WITH FEELINGS. NOT JUST JUGDE ME WITH RIGHTS N WRONGS I DO OR SAY. I WISH I SUMDAY WALK INTO SOMEONE I CAN REALLY CALL MY BEST FRIEND..IN THE TRUEST SENSE OF THAT B WORD.

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